my impeccable sources have informed me that the Ya Udah Bistro has been sold to an unnamed indonesian artis sinetron, who is taking over in 10 days time.

ya udah is to be converted into a karaoke bar! no bullshit!! (would i lie to you?)

the waitresses are not happy, and are even now looking for alternative employment.

Very wise decision by the waitresses.

No more flaccid Leberkasse. I'm gutted

Cool. Inul does Jaksa?

The cheerful proprietor moving into politics in his native alpine canton when he shuts shop.

Which explains why there are a heap of these on your clothesline, alongside the very rare collector's edition Mampang Buncit skull and crossbones apparel, which you wear with such great pride.



And don't forget your hat:

Why doesn't Okusi expand into the restaurant business? When's the lease on the old Bagus/International/Q/Betawi place up? Surely easy money if someone decided to serve good food there?

Lambert's gift all in size M...not too sure if anyone wants to see my tits and belly button

certainly i've considered it. but, no business is an easy business. and my attentions are elsewhere (busy? an understatement!)

nonetheless, i'm open to offers if anyone is serious about getting into the business on this street. the cafe business, that is, not The Business.

many of the girls at Ya Udah want me to find new jobs for them. so finding experienced staff should not be a problem.

How much will it cost?

how much have you got?

seriously, you're better off formulating the business concept, then figuring out how much money you are going need to realise it.

without a clear concept, you'll just be another ordinary bar ...

Knowing Piss he'll come up with some kind of hand job Bistro concept. You could call it Sailor's Wank.

Sailor's Wank, Interesting name to say the least............

What do you think the concept will be..........will he raid Tanjung Priok looking for the "best" employees or willl it a be a "do it yourself" concept as it is on most ships.............

Customers get to scrape the barnacles off his arse. oo arrr shipmates!!

I have a few ideas (Thai imports) as to how to spice that kind off market up (or down)!

Well if you have imports of that nature there would be trouble unless you cut the Godfather of Jaksa in on the action...........

I have a cunning plan me lord (Pardon the pun on the user name)

^^^^You the man Baldrick, you the man, God I only hope you don't look like him............

Nothing wrong with Baldrick, quite the snaggle-toothed vultures' man.

I still don't get viperaberushitam.

And the new owner of the soon to be ex-ya udah is :

Good one. Who is that? I hope it's not a JakChat member as there is a clear policy on unwanted indentification of individuals.

ooops..sorry, wrong pic. goddam mouse!!!!!

And the new owner of the soon to be ex-ya udah is :

None other than Bertrand Antolin, the well known ginger indonesian seleb..For more info on the carrot-topped cutie see

http://p200.ezboard.com/Bertrand-Antolins-Cafe/bbertrandantolinscafe

He'd look better with some cake on his head. This is one of the lovely comment posts on Mr. Antolin's site:

Hai,

Ini mungkin sesuatu yang hotnews... bangettt
Ceritanya gue pas lagi chat ama seseorang cowo...
Dia kampusnya di Ph..., gue tanya knal ama Bertrand ngga????
Dia bilang seeh knal bangettt, sering ke apartemennya
and then dia bilang kalo BA itu Gay...!!!!
Gue kaget bangettt, dan gue bilang sama siapa emangnya????

Dia bilang samaorang yg namanya: Leonard Richard....

Taya..., u tau no telp managernya bertrand ngga???

Bales yach...

fanny_febe@yahoo.com

kenyeung accidently hit the delete key on one of his messages in this discussion, so i have helpfully retrieved it for him:

i don't know anyone who would admit to knowing that person in the photograph.

I believe the gent in question had recently undergone a nose circumcision, hence the bandaging!

Betrand looks alright ...I think a slightly darker shade of copper would suit him better.

i can't believe you said that.

I' m ALL hair colour tips.

I think Cake-Hair Foreskin-Nose man would also benefit from some rustic highlights. It would really bring out the red in his cherry.

sekian.

Perhaps people could start submitting their favorite ya-udah stories (pleasant or otherwise). You must have a few Kuku, no? Apart from those you posted on the old yaudahsucks.com website, which was followed by symphonyofprawns.

i don't have no stories ... remember, i only used ya udah as a canteen. and i'm nearly always in bed by 9pm, when all good muslims should be off the streets.

What about the time you got banned cos Pedro caught you getting sucked off in the toilets by his favorite waitress?

seems ol' pedro is getting a case of premature nostalgia with stuff like "farewell old jaksa queen/ a song in your heart"...if only he could have been so poetic in person. He's also finally issued a thank you to his loyal customers. This is the first thank you i've ever received from him. (Perhaps i'm being too hard on him.He does have his defenders who claim he is misunderstood, and we can't forget about his charitable hosting of Old Pete's wake)

I can you all that the Strammer Maxx is now an endangered species. As of last night only 4 portions remained..get there fast.

Stories...Ken, you must have a few. I have a few of my own, i know piss does and perhaps my favourite involves lambert and roy's hair (unwittingly)...perhaps mr hair himself would like to recount it in his impeccable prose..

The Ya-Udah press releases displayed under the glass tabletops are usually worded by Jarders or Mr Miller.



I have that episode archived - and penned in your, frankly, quite ordinary prose. Shall unearth it and dust off the dead moths.

that was kuku???...nahhhh that was bricktop and the chef

indeed, well quite clearly the whole episode needs a re-telling by someone of greater skills than me. A classic tale waiting to be told

pray tell, who is bricktop??

Your words will have to suffice:

As told by Witty Sandal. Jul 14, 2007:
A most interesting event happened the other night. I wasn't witness to it but have heard enough versions of the story to have a good idea of went down. Lambert vs Pedro 'no-no' Strammermax. Basically Lambert on going to pay realized he didn't have his wallet on him (I know, likely story) and told his table companion that he would just pop down to his office where he thought he'd left it. So he gathered his bag and walked out towards his bike. Eagle-eyed Pedro spotted this from his usual vantage point and fearing the worst, that Lambert was doing a runner (which may have been true) strode out to confront him. The conversation apparently went something like:
"You will pay now!"
"Look mate i don't have my wallet."
"No!! You will pay!"
"Look, I gotta get me wallet from the office, just calm down."
"You go nowhere... you fucking pay!"
"Look you stupid fuckhead, you're such a rude bastard now I'm not going to pay."
At which point Pedro produced a perfect swiss upper-cut and apparently hit Lambert. Lambert claims he struck back with his motorbike helmet although i'm reliably informed this is exaggerated. Anyway it took Pedro's heavyweight stooge Nick and David Jardine yelling "Stop it. Stop it... He's a nice guy... stop it both of you!!" to calm things down. Despite Lambert's protestations his table companion Mark (who must have been cringing by now) settled things up and Lambert sped off in a rage. It's safe to assume he is the latest in a long tradition of bannees from the Bistro.

[Addendum: A few days later, Roy's Hair went to Ya-Udah for a meal. He was mistaken for Lambert and banned]

Roy's Hair post of 08/08/07:
Latest news is I'm barred from YUB by Mr. Pedro. Staff refused to serve me on Sunday night. I didn't do anything though. He's confusing me with my Kiwi housemate who he barred last week after an altercation over a bill. I wasn't even there the time. What an arse.

i was with lambert in ya udah just a few weeks ago ... along with piss salon ... and also Roy's Hair ... so the ban must not have lasted very long. or perhaps pedro has a short memory.

More likely Jarders than Mr Miller...Unfortunately the latter is very poorly, i just saw him this evening, and unlikely to have done the job...wish him all the best...bit too syrupy for jarders too though...

the part i left out in the story was lambert's use of the insidious "you fuck-knuckle" insult

Semi-amusing Ya Udah story. I was 86-ed for life in 2004. Infraction: Sharing rubbery weeners on New Years evening with Fery (the dog that is).

My friends were 86-ed not too long after for not ordering anything!!! They just popped in because they saw a friend sitting alone and wanted to say hi. I'll sure miss that big Austrian lug.

i really cannot understand all these stories of people getting banned from Ya Udah, or of having 'words' with Pedro.

i've been eating at ya udah on average 3 times a week continuously since 2002 (before then i couldn't afford it!), which means i've eaten there at least 1200 times, and spent maybe Rp50.000.000 there.

pedro has *never* said a word to me. he has never even looked at me. so why all these alleged problems?

There is a subtle difference between your behavioural patterns and Lambert, Piss et al...

funny you should notice that.

i think one reason some perceive Pedro in this manner is because they mistake Ya Udah for a bar.

Ya-udah is quite clearly a bistro. No other description will do.
"There is a subtle difference between your behavioural patterns and Lambert, Piss et al"---you must be a bit of a lout then kuku...and you only seem to have been touched by the moderate side of pedro's temperament...total unfriendliness...